Three Months of Locke

The last month has really flown by. We closed on our house, began updating it, and Locke got his first illness. My dad, grandmother, and little brother Ethan came for a visit Father's Day weekend and I could tell on that Friday that Locke wasn't feeling well. That night he woke up in the middle of the night crying and inconsolable. He had a low-grade fever so I gave him some Tylenol. He fussed the rest of the night and since he was sleeping in our room none of us got any sleep! His temperature spiked Saturday night but after a cool bath and some more Tylenol it broke and he started feeling better. Unfortunately his schedule got all screwed up and a lot of that is my fault. His nose was stuffy so it was hard for him to breathe and nurse at the same time, which meant he wasn't eating well, and therefore I let him eat whenever he wanted instead of on his schedule. It's been over a week since Locke got sick and we're still working through schedule issues. The bonus of all this is that he has moved to a 3.5 hour nursing schedule instead of every 3 hours. That extra half hour provides even more freedom for us when running errands, at church, going out to eat, etc.

I don't know Locke's weight because we haven't been back to the doctor since his two month appointment. I usually have to feed Locke in a quiet room without the ceiling fan on (very distracting for the little man!) so that he can focus on eating. I guess one of the downsides of breastfeeding is that Locke is very easily distracted and/or he falls asleep easily. His major milestones are rolling to his side, discovering his feet, and laughing. My child's laugh is one of the best sounds in the whole world! One of the bittersweet things about parenting is that you love the new things they do as they grow up, but it's so sad to watch them grow and know they'll never be that little again. Today I was putting away Locke's newborn and 0-3 months clothes and I almost started crying! I was remembering the little navy elephant sleeper that Locke wore his first day in the hospital. Or the blue gown I bought for him at Canton that he wore on the way home from the hospital . Or the Star Wars onesie that Erik liked so much. Such good memories!

I try not to let Locke fall asleep on me or take naps outside of his swing or his crib but on this day I had tried to wake him up to eat and this is what he did.


He's not super chunky but he's really long. He grew out of his 0-3 month sleepers because his feet were pushing out of them. I love the sleepers with animals on the feet!


Everybody says how much Locke looks like Erik. I'd like to think he has a little bit of me in him, too.


My toothless 7 year old brother absolutely loves Locke. He wanted to hold him the whole time they were here. I love these boys so much!

The Ten Pound Twin

I thought when we had our first ultrasound back in early August ( or late July?) that we saw only one baby's heartbeat on the monitor. That baby has been born and is thriving but no one told me about his ten pound twin.

Ah yes, the evil twin that now resides on my midsection. I've been trying to get rid of this thing since March! It's made up of all those Carl's Jr. cheeseburgers, Chick-fil-A milkshakes, and ice-cold Cokes I was so fond of the last months of my pregnancy. In fact one of the first things I said to Erik after Locke was born was "I want a Coke." I gained a total of 40 pounds during my pregnancy and at 2 weeks postpartum I had lost 20-ish of it. Locke will be 12 weeks old on Thursday and in 10 weeks I only lost 10 more pounds and I'm at a plateau.

When you're breastfeeding dieting is pretty much a no-no. It messes up your milk supply and you shouldn't cut calories when you're using an extra 500 a day to feed your kid. So I've turned to exercise to help get this twin delivered and off my body. I bought Zumba for the Wii and I did it every day last week. I am so uncoordinated it's not even funny. Now I know why I've never been to a club-I can't dance! There's also a new group in Clarksville called Stroller Strides which is basically a work out group and you pay for the classes. I haven't joined yet but they have a sister club that doesn't require a membership fee and they go walking on the new greenway a couple of times a week with their kids in strollers. Locke and I are going tomorrow. It's during his first morning nap time, but he almost always falls asleep when I put him in the stroller so hopefully he'll be ok.

Also I'm on the stay-at-home-mom diet. It's not an actual diet but my new way of life. I can only eat what I've purchased at the grocery and brought home with the occasional take-out that Erik brings home for dinner. I lost 4 pounds the first week I went on this "diet." I'm not super comfortable taking Locke out to eat because it's hard to plan around his schedule so that he's a) not hungry and b) not tired and fussy. That leaves about an hour and 15 minute window every 3 hours. Plus I like to eat my meals without having to hold him too and that's best accomplished at home. Erik and I used to eat out at least 3-4 times a week before Locke was born and now it's more like 1-2. It's amazing how much cheaper it is to eat at home!

I'll try to keep the old blog updated on my weight loss progress. I've read that it can take 9 months to take off what it took 9 months to put on, but I hope that's not the case!

Thankful

Today I was skimming through the blogs I read regularly and came upon one where a couple had just lost their baby at an early gestation. The day Locke was born a young girl was going through the same thing. Today I'm reminded to be thankful for the blessing of life God has given me in my son.


This is one of my favorite pictures of Locke that Erik took after an early morning feeding. Look at the way his hand is on my arm. So sweet!

The thing that has saved my sanity

Locke started sleeping through the night around 8 weeks old and by that I mean from about 8 p.m. until 6:45 a.m. or so with a dreamfeed at 10 p.m. This was no easy task so I'm going explain how we did and also get to the point of this post.

Let me start by saying that getting Locke on a decent sleep schedule was difficult and we made a lot of mistakes on the way. First mistake-trying to get him on a schedule in the middle of packing and moving across the country. Not to mention the fact that we lived at my mom's the first week we were in Tennessee and then moved all of our stuff into our new house. I think for sure he felt the stress that we were feeling and that affected his sleep. Second mistake-unrealistic expectations and not enough research. I read Babywise front to back multiple times and thought I was ready. HA! Nothing prepares you for the battle your kid can put up when you try to get him to sleep!

Basically this is what we did minus most of the drama: From the beginning of Locke's life we listened to the pediatrician and during the day we didn't let Locke sleep more than 2 hours at a time (no more than 4 at night since I was trying to establish a milk supply) and followed the rule of eat, awake time, sleep. This was pretty hard since newborns get so sleepy when you feed them but we pressed on, and by the time he was 2.5 weeks old he was sleeping 3 and 4 hours at a time at night. After we moved and got into our house I pretty much holed up with Locke for 2 weeks and followed a 2-3 hour schedule of eat, play, and sleep. These weeks were really hard, mainly because every day I felt like I was losing the battle with sleep and I was very homesick for Texas. It's very isolating being home with a newborn all day when you've just moved and don't have friends to come by. At the end of those 2 weeks I really felt like giving up and waiting until Locke was older, like maybe 3 or 4 months old. One of the things that really helped at this point was the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Sleep Problems by Tracy Hogg. I didn't read it but I read many of the points online and how to use them. She talks about how to help your baby sleep instead of just expecting them to do it on their own. Another thing that helped with daytime naps was buying a swing. Babywise says not to use a swing, but I'm here to tell you that in my opinion, if your baby will sleep well in a swing, let them do it.

Like I said before, Locke started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old but he started sleeping 8 hours at night by 6 weeks old. It was great but his naps during the day were seriously terrible. For a couple weeks he wouldn't sleep more than 45 minutes at a time. It was screwing up the 2-3 hour schedule and then he would be cranky all the time. Now, let me tell you what saved us.....(dramatic drum roll)


This! The thumb-sucking! On the day Locke turned 2 months old two very important things happened: Locke discovered he could suck his thumb and he had his 2 month shots. The shots were significant because the next day he was feeling crappy and took a 2.5 hour nap. Up until this point he hadn't napped longer than 45 minutes! I think his body was like, "Hey, I actually like naps and they make me feel better!" He's been a pretty decent napper since then. The thumb-self soothing has a lot to do with it. When he gets sleepy that thumb goes in his mouth and he starts rubbing his eyes and I know it's time to put him in the swing.


Just in the last week or so he has also started sucking his fingers on his left hand. It's really cute when he tries to suck these and his thumb at the same time! If I could do it all over again here's what I would do differently: I would use a swaddle blanket. We had one and I used it the first night he was home and that was it. I would give it more time and use it again. Babies tend to fling out their arms and freak themselves out when they're sleeping and Locke did this a lot. Swaddling prevents this and makes them feel secure. I would implement Hogg's EASY routing along with the 4 S's to help Locke fall asleep. So many times I laid him down awake and expected him to fall asleep. I just don't think that was realistic for him at that age. I would have already bought a swing to begin with. We had a Mamaroo, but it doesn't have a swing feature, and he didn't really like it. I would not force Locke to sleep by himself all the time during naps. If I could take it back, I would have loved more snuggles with my baby. I was very afraid of falling asleep with Locke next to me and so he slept in the pack n play most of the time. They are only little for so long!

I still think with the next baby (many, many years from now) that we will start sleep-training from birth, just in a different way. The sleep we have been able to get is wonderful and Locke is a relaxed, easy going baby 90% of the time. Honestly, I think how a baby sleeps depends a lot on their personality. I can also say that I couldn't have done it without Erik's help. He encouraged me and helped me when I couldn't listen to Locke's crying anymore. Now he does the bedtime routine with Locke almost every night. Thanks babe!

Two Months of Locke

Yesterday my baby turned 2 months old and it breaks my heart. I never had this sense of time fleeting until Locke was born and in the blink of an eye he was a week old.

Things that I love about 2 months:

A) He learned to suck his thumb! I may pay for this later on in dental fees, but this kid refuses to take a pacifier and anything that soothes him that's not breastfeeding is fine with me!

B) His smiles. Oh, I live for those smiles. He can be having a crabby day (rare) and I get him to smile and my whole world lights up. There is just something about your baby smiling at you-I wouldn't trade it for anything.

C) He is sleeping through the night-almost. Right now I nurse him around 7, he has a bath, sometimes we read a book depending on his level of fussy/tiredness and lay him down. I dreamfeed him at 10 and then lay him back down. Sometimes he wakes up at 4 to eat, but the past 2 nights he has woken up, made a few noises, and then gone back to sleep on his own. He wakes up between 7- 7:30 and I let him hang out in there for a few minutes if he wakes up crying. I don't know why, but if he wakes up crying and I immediately go get him he is in a bad mood until it's time to sleep again. If I give him a few minutes to calm down on his own, he is as happy as he can be.

D) He got his first round of shots yesterday so now I feel comfortable taking him out in public. Since we've moved the only places he's been are church where I hold him the whole time, Berry Bear- a fro yo place that Erik loves, and to Martin for a family gathering. He's never even been to Target-that's a big deal because when I was pregnant I was there every week!

I was a little skeptical meeting our pediatrician yesterday because I'm not familiar with any docs here in Clarksville. However, he was really nice, spent a lot of time with us and addressed all our concerns. Sunday Locke developed a rash all over his tummy, around his mouth, and on his legs. I assumed it was because I ate a couple shrimp at a restaurant that day and was afraid he might have a shellfish allergy, but the doc said that might not be the case. Also Locke tends to look only to the right and has done that since birth. He can and will look to the left but really prefers the right and our doc said he has some tightness in his neck muscles and gave me some exercises to do at home.

We sure do love our little boy! When I was pregnant I was skeptical that I could enjoy or even want to stay home with a baby. How naive I was! I could spend all day talking and playing and taking care of this kid. Erik and I really love being parents and we love that Locke gets to be around his family. I still really miss Waco, sometimes so much that it's all I can do not to hop on a plane and go back, but I know that these days are precious and I'm glad our families get to enjoy Locke.

Birth Day!

One month old! I never did take a picture of just Locke on this day, which was Easter. It might have had something to do with the fact that we were moving, I was emotional, and we had no place to live! Easter was the last leg of our move and we stopped 2 places that day to see family.

2 months old! Just look at that face! I am still in love with those chins!

As of yesterday Locke weighed 11 pounds 8 ounces, having gained 3 pounds in 6 weeks. He was 24 inches long. 50th percentile for weight and 75th percentile for height.

Adventures in Breastfeeding (Yup I said it!)

Let me just start by saying that breastfeeding is the single most rewarding thing I do for Locke. Nothing makes me feel better than knowing that I've put every ounce of fat and chunk on that kid and that I can continue to do it until he or I chose not to. Let me also say that breastfeeding was the most difficult, painful, and exhausting thing about taking my baby home and caring for him. I did all the "right" things in the hospital, all the things I told new mothers to do, and all the things I was taught in a class taught by the lactation consultant at work. By the way there is a special place in Heaven for the lactation consultant where I used to work! That woman is an angel! Things like holding Locke skin to skin after birth (wonderful!), attempting feeding before his first bath, feeding on demand for the first 2 days, feeding at least every 2 hours for the first week, and watching for feeding cues-his most prominent cue we deemed "lizard tongue." Nobody told me that even though your body makes enough colostrum to feed baby, it really only makes enough to keep a normal baby's blood sugar from dropping too low and thus you feed for every two hours so it doesn't drop. Again, nobody told me how mad a baby can get when he only gets enough colostrum to keep his blood sugar at a normal level. I should have known better seeing as how ticked I would get as a preggo when I had to wait even a little bit for food! I won't mention certain other uncomfortable aspects of breastfeeding here due to the fact that some men (hi dad!) read this blog.

After Locke was about 3 or 4 weeks breastfeeding was a dream. So easy, not painful, and a really wonderful bonding time with Locke. The new obstacle became where to feed him when I actually ventured out of the house with him. Keep in mind, I rarely took him out anywhere the first three weeks because a) it was still RSV season, b) I was so dead-dog tired that I didn't have the energy, and c) our pediatrician put the fear of God in me about my baby being hospitalized if he so much as spiked a fever before 8 weeks. So after I crawled out of our little rabbit hole into the light again I had to figure out where to feed this kid. At first I would stop at work and go up to the nursery (keep in mind we never had any babies in there) and do double duty feeding him and seeing my friends. Then we moved when Locke was four weeks old. During that trip I learned to feed him in random parking lots, parked as far away from other cars as possible. Granted I used a nursing cover, but I was always afraid some weirdo was going to come up and look at me!

The worst, absolute worst place I had to feed Locke was at the real estate agent's office here in town. Now our real estate agent is probably the nicest and most successful one here in Clarksville, but she works for a group and they don't exactly have a nursing mothers' room in their building. We went to the office one day to take a look at prospective houses and naturally it became time for Locke to eat. Since they had a rather crowded parking lot (see above) I didn't know what else to do but head to the ladies room. Yes folks, I had to feed my kid in a bathroom stall. Now I know lots of mothers out there have done the same thing because maybe they're like me and can't just whip out the boob in public. I just can't do it, y'all! Anyway, I'm in there and this lady comes in to the other stall to do her business, which is what a bathroom is for-not to feed your baby. Then I stood there horrified as she proceeds to have awful, smelly diarrhea! I'm in the next stall over and Locke is not a quiet eater and this poor woman can obviously tell somebody else is in there while she has a very upset stomach. Yikes and yuck. Since then I vowed never to feed my kid in a bathroom.again.period.

While I'm on the subject I just want to say that I will never again judge a mom for not breastfeeding her baby. We brought Locke home on a Saturday and that Sunday was pretty much one of the worst days of my life. Of course we had gotten zero sleep Saturday night because he finally figured out that all he was getting was colostrum and dude was HUNGRY!! He cried all day Sunday. I mean ALL. DAY. Then I started crying because he wouldn't even latch on to try to get the five drops I had to offer. Anyway, early Monday morning my milk came in and we never looked back but it was the most hellacious 36 hours I've ever spent. So, if you're a mom who's exhausted and your baby is hungry you go ahead and give that baby some formula. I wish somebody had told me that. And if you feel guilty for it you call me and I'll recap the horrible hours I spent with a crying hungry baby and you can feel better about yourself!

Lots of Changes

So in addition to having a baby, we moved back to Tennessee and Erik started at a law firm in Clarksville! We had quite a few things going on, huh? Not to mention that we bought a house about 2 miles from where I used to live here in Clarksville. I have to say that moving has been extremely stressful and emotional for me. I'm sure there are all kinds of hormones going on with a breastfeeding postpartum mom but I really, really miss Waco. I'm currently job searching for something part-time and I've found a couple of positions that I would like that aren't labor and delivery. Erik is enjoying his job at the law firm and working again after being in school for 3 years. Locke made the move with little trouble. He is a remarkably easy baby except when it comes to daytime naps. The child is just like his momma in that he does not like to nap! Now I'll get to the Locke pictures.

My first smile shot.

He's getting so big it makes my heart hurt! I don't think I'll ever get over how fast he is changing.

Right now his big tricks are sticking his fist in his mouth to suck on his knuckles and talking/cooing. The child will not take a pacifier and it took him a week to be able to get that fist in his mouth. My favorite thing is when he sneezes sometimes he'll coo right after. It's the most ridiculously cute thing you have ever seen! Maybe I can get it on film and put it up here.