Adventures in Breastfeeding (Yup I said it!)

Let me just start by saying that breastfeeding is the single most rewarding thing I do for Locke. Nothing makes me feel better than knowing that I've put every ounce of fat and chunk on that kid and that I can continue to do it until he or I chose not to. Let me also say that breastfeeding was the most difficult, painful, and exhausting thing about taking my baby home and caring for him. I did all the "right" things in the hospital, all the things I told new mothers to do, and all the things I was taught in a class taught by the lactation consultant at work. By the way there is a special place in Heaven for the lactation consultant where I used to work! That woman is an angel! Things like holding Locke skin to skin after birth (wonderful!), attempting feeding before his first bath, feeding on demand for the first 2 days, feeding at least every 2 hours for the first week, and watching for feeding cues-his most prominent cue we deemed "lizard tongue." Nobody told me that even though your body makes enough colostrum to feed baby, it really only makes enough to keep a normal baby's blood sugar from dropping too low and thus you feed for every two hours so it doesn't drop. Again, nobody told me how mad a baby can get when he only gets enough colostrum to keep his blood sugar at a normal level. I should have known better seeing as how ticked I would get as a preggo when I had to wait even a little bit for food! I won't mention certain other uncomfortable aspects of breastfeeding here due to the fact that some men (hi dad!) read this blog.

After Locke was about 3 or 4 weeks breastfeeding was a dream. So easy, not painful, and a really wonderful bonding time with Locke. The new obstacle became where to feed him when I actually ventured out of the house with him. Keep in mind, I rarely took him out anywhere the first three weeks because a) it was still RSV season, b) I was so dead-dog tired that I didn't have the energy, and c) our pediatrician put the fear of God in me about my baby being hospitalized if he so much as spiked a fever before 8 weeks. So after I crawled out of our little rabbit hole into the light again I had to figure out where to feed this kid. At first I would stop at work and go up to the nursery (keep in mind we never had any babies in there) and do double duty feeding him and seeing my friends. Then we moved when Locke was four weeks old. During that trip I learned to feed him in random parking lots, parked as far away from other cars as possible. Granted I used a nursing cover, but I was always afraid some weirdo was going to come up and look at me!

The worst, absolute worst place I had to feed Locke was at the real estate agent's office here in town. Now our real estate agent is probably the nicest and most successful one here in Clarksville, but she works for a group and they don't exactly have a nursing mothers' room in their building. We went to the office one day to take a look at prospective houses and naturally it became time for Locke to eat. Since they had a rather crowded parking lot (see above) I didn't know what else to do but head to the ladies room. Yes folks, I had to feed my kid in a bathroom stall. Now I know lots of mothers out there have done the same thing because maybe they're like me and can't just whip out the boob in public. I just can't do it, y'all! Anyway, I'm in there and this lady comes in to the other stall to do her business, which is what a bathroom is for-not to feed your baby. Then I stood there horrified as she proceeds to have awful, smelly diarrhea! I'm in the next stall over and Locke is not a quiet eater and this poor woman can obviously tell somebody else is in there while she has a very upset stomach. Yikes and yuck. Since then I vowed never to feed my kid in a bathroom.again.period.

While I'm on the subject I just want to say that I will never again judge a mom for not breastfeeding her baby. We brought Locke home on a Saturday and that Sunday was pretty much one of the worst days of my life. Of course we had gotten zero sleep Saturday night because he finally figured out that all he was getting was colostrum and dude was HUNGRY!! He cried all day Sunday. I mean ALL. DAY. Then I started crying because he wouldn't even latch on to try to get the five drops I had to offer. Anyway, early Monday morning my milk came in and we never looked back but it was the most hellacious 36 hours I've ever spent. So, if you're a mom who's exhausted and your baby is hungry you go ahead and give that baby some formula. I wish somebody had told me that. And if you feel guilty for it you call me and I'll recap the horrible hours I spent with a crying hungry baby and you can feel better about yourself!