Adventures in Breastfeeding (Yup I said it!)

Let me just start by saying that breastfeeding is the single most rewarding thing I do for Locke. Nothing makes me feel better than knowing that I've put every ounce of fat and chunk on that kid and that I can continue to do it until he or I chose not to. Let me also say that breastfeeding was the most difficult, painful, and exhausting thing about taking my baby home and caring for him. I did all the "right" things in the hospital, all the things I told new mothers to do, and all the things I was taught in a class taught by the lactation consultant at work. By the way there is a special place in Heaven for the lactation consultant where I used to work! That woman is an angel! Things like holding Locke skin to skin after birth (wonderful!), attempting feeding before his first bath, feeding on demand for the first 2 days, feeding at least every 2 hours for the first week, and watching for feeding cues-his most prominent cue we deemed "lizard tongue." Nobody told me that even though your body makes enough colostrum to feed baby, it really only makes enough to keep a normal baby's blood sugar from dropping too low and thus you feed for every two hours so it doesn't drop. Again, nobody told me how mad a baby can get when he only gets enough colostrum to keep his blood sugar at a normal level. I should have known better seeing as how ticked I would get as a preggo when I had to wait even a little bit for food! I won't mention certain other uncomfortable aspects of breastfeeding here due to the fact that some men (hi dad!) read this blog.

After Locke was about 3 or 4 weeks breastfeeding was a dream. So easy, not painful, and a really wonderful bonding time with Locke. The new obstacle became where to feed him when I actually ventured out of the house with him. Keep in mind, I rarely took him out anywhere the first three weeks because a) it was still RSV season, b) I was so dead-dog tired that I didn't have the energy, and c) our pediatrician put the fear of God in me about my baby being hospitalized if he so much as spiked a fever before 8 weeks. So after I crawled out of our little rabbit hole into the light again I had to figure out where to feed this kid. At first I would stop at work and go up to the nursery (keep in mind we never had any babies in there) and do double duty feeding him and seeing my friends. Then we moved when Locke was four weeks old. During that trip I learned to feed him in random parking lots, parked as far away from other cars as possible. Granted I used a nursing cover, but I was always afraid some weirdo was going to come up and look at me!

The worst, absolute worst place I had to feed Locke was at the real estate agent's office here in town. Now our real estate agent is probably the nicest and most successful one here in Clarksville, but she works for a group and they don't exactly have a nursing mothers' room in their building. We went to the office one day to take a look at prospective houses and naturally it became time for Locke to eat. Since they had a rather crowded parking lot (see above) I didn't know what else to do but head to the ladies room. Yes folks, I had to feed my kid in a bathroom stall. Now I know lots of mothers out there have done the same thing because maybe they're like me and can't just whip out the boob in public. I just can't do it, y'all! Anyway, I'm in there and this lady comes in to the other stall to do her business, which is what a bathroom is for-not to feed your baby. Then I stood there horrified as she proceeds to have awful, smelly diarrhea! I'm in the next stall over and Locke is not a quiet eater and this poor woman can obviously tell somebody else is in there while she has a very upset stomach. Yikes and yuck. Since then I vowed never to feed my kid in a bathroom.again.period.

While I'm on the subject I just want to say that I will never again judge a mom for not breastfeeding her baby. We brought Locke home on a Saturday and that Sunday was pretty much one of the worst days of my life. Of course we had gotten zero sleep Saturday night because he finally figured out that all he was getting was colostrum and dude was HUNGRY!! He cried all day Sunday. I mean ALL. DAY. Then I started crying because he wouldn't even latch on to try to get the five drops I had to offer. Anyway, early Monday morning my milk came in and we never looked back but it was the most hellacious 36 hours I've ever spent. So, if you're a mom who's exhausted and your baby is hungry you go ahead and give that baby some formula. I wish somebody had told me that. And if you feel guilty for it you call me and I'll recap the horrible hours I spent with a crying hungry baby and you can feel better about yourself!

Lots of Changes

So in addition to having a baby, we moved back to Tennessee and Erik started at a law firm in Clarksville! We had quite a few things going on, huh? Not to mention that we bought a house about 2 miles from where I used to live here in Clarksville. I have to say that moving has been extremely stressful and emotional for me. I'm sure there are all kinds of hormones going on with a breastfeeding postpartum mom but I really, really miss Waco. I'm currently job searching for something part-time and I've found a couple of positions that I would like that aren't labor and delivery. Erik is enjoying his job at the law firm and working again after being in school for 3 years. Locke made the move with little trouble. He is a remarkably easy baby except when it comes to daytime naps. The child is just like his momma in that he does not like to nap! Now I'll get to the Locke pictures.

My first smile shot.

He's getting so big it makes my heart hurt! I don't think I'll ever get over how fast he is changing.

Right now his big tricks are sticking his fist in his mouth to suck on his knuckles and talking/cooing. The child will not take a pacifier and it took him a week to be able to get that fist in his mouth. My favorite thing is when he sneezes sometimes he'll coo right after. It's the most ridiculously cute thing you have ever seen! Maybe I can get it on film and put it up here.

This Boy

I understood that newborns are a lot of work but I never knew how much fun Locke would be. Erik and I get such a kick out of watching his faces, listening to his sounds, and taking pictures of him. He is such a good baby and sleeps so well at night! This isn't a fluke. We have been working very hard at getting him on a schedule and it's still a work in progress. The kid loves to eat and is a great nurser. Getting him to nap during the day is a challenge, especially in the early afternoon and evening. At this point I'll take him being crabby in the afternoon and sleeping well at night! Hopefully with a little more effort on our parts we'll have this kid on a flexible schedule in the next couple of weeks.

About to go out for a walk. Because of his fussiness, we usually take walks in the neighborhood in the afternoon. What is it about being pushed around in a stroller that puts a kid at ease?


The dogs have really done well with Locke. They like to smell and lick his toes and they want to be wherever he is. If I take him into our room to feed him they'll lay right by me.


He seems to really like his bath time. At first he'll fuss but then he's calm and he seems to be in a better mood afterwards.


We spend a lot of Locke's wake time propping him up on our legs and talking to him. It's so fun to make up songs and move his little legs and arms. His cheeks are starting to get chunky and he's got a double chin. He's so squeezable! We are in love with this boy!

Locke's Birth Story

Don't worry if you are a male or squeamish woman reading this-all the content is G-rated!

My due date was Tuesday March 22nd and I just knew I was never going to go into labor and was going to have be induced the following Monday. I was absolutely dreading the induction because as an L&D nurse, I've been told by numerous patients how much more painful the pitocin contractions are than regular labor and there's a significant increased risk of c-section in first time moms who are induced. Luckily I started having irregular but painful contractions at 5:30 Wednesday morning so I got up at 7:30, and starting timing them using my contraction timer app on my phone. That morning I cleaned the house and when Erik got up I told him I might be in early labor. Unfortunately throughout the day the contractions slowed down then stopped completely, so I went to my scheduled prenatal massage and then walked around WalMart for a while. Erik and I took two walks around the neighborhood that day to see if we could speed up those pesky contractions but to no avail. That night I made dinner and went to bed but I couldn't sleep. The contraction pain was tolerable but bad enough that I couldn't sleep.

Then at 2:00 that morning I woke up to seriously painful contractions, very different than what I'd been experiencing. I knew this had to be it but they were so irregular, ten minutes apart and I didn't want to go to the hospital until they were 5 minutes apart. Yes, even as an L&D nurse they would send me home if I wasn't dilated very much and having irregular contractions! I got up at 3:30 and called up to work to talk to my friend Brittainy and ask her what I should do. She told me to get in the shower and try a hot pack for my back. I don't know what the shower did but as soon as I got in there my contractions started coming every 5 minutes. I got out and waited until I'd had an hour of these and then woke Erik up and told him we were going to the hospital.

We made it up there around 6:00 and I had called ahead so all the girls at work knew I was coming. I was so nervous because I was hurting so bad and if I was still only dilated to a one I was gonna flip. Well it turns out I was a five! My mood immediately changed and they put me in a room and got me ready for my epidural. Now let me tell you I have helped with so many epidurals I can't even count them, but that is a weird experience when it's you on the other side! Around 8 that morning my doctor came in and broke my water and then they started a small amount of pitocin because my contractions had slowed down again. My friend Shawna was my nurse and my friend Lori came up to be with me and I felt so loved by all the staff on duty that day. I was able to relax and watch tv for a bit and then things started happening really fast.

I was dilated to a 9 around 11:30 but then Locke's heart beat went down a little and wouldn't come back up. I started to feel my contractions and they hurt so bad. All I could do was roll on my side and hold the bed rail and shake until the contraction was over. They called my doctor and had me start pushing soon after and thirty minutes later they laid this screaming baby on my chest!

I can't describe the feeling when Locke looked at me and Erik for the first time. It was like this baby knew me and knew I was his mom. I kept thinking he was so skinny, so when they said he was 8 pounds I was very surprised. We had the sweetest time afterwards with him skin to skin on my chest and just me and Erik in the room. I am so lucky that my coworkers/friends were able to be there and that everything turned out ok. We are so blessed!

Locke Henry Fuqua is here!

We are so excited to announce that Locke Henry Fuqua was born on March 24th, 2011 at 12:38 pm. He weighed 8 lbs even and was 21.5 inches long. Here are a few pictures until I get enough energy to put some more on here.

Still Cooking

It's 1:00 pm on Sunday afternoon and yes I'm still pregnant. I think I'm going to start charging a dollar for every person who asks me "You still haven't had that baby yet?" What's with these people? It's my first baby and my due date isn't for another week. Why is there an expectation that this baby is supposed to come before he's due? I don't think people understand that I'm not miserable and breaking down my doctor's door to try to get him to induce me. I'm sleeping through the night, except to get up to the bathroom, and I'm happy to report that my hip hasn't hurt since Friday before last. I don't understand it, but I woke up one morning and the pain was far less, then the next day it was almost gone. I'm just going to take it as a blessing from God and not question Him! I have felt so great the past week, like I could run a marathon. My only true complaint would be my feet and ankles which are swollen to about 3x their size and I only have 2 pairs of shoes that I can stuff these boats into. Erik affectionately named them "Skeenkles" for ski-ankles because he says they look like ski boots. Har har. I would post a picture but I have a little more self-respect than that.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to have this baby this weekend, preferable after Friday because I have a hair appointment and I really wanted to get my hair cut before he comes. I have both our bags packed, the cameras charged and ready to go, and the house is almost totally clean. Every night I go to sleep and think this could be the last time I get to sleep uninterrupted for the next few years. I can't wait to meet this little guy, see who he looks like, and share him with the world. However, if he could wait until after I get my hair did I would be much obliged.

Not Just Waddling

I started having pain in my left hip almost 2 weeks ago that was just kind of annoying, not really that bad. It progressively got worse over the week to the point where walking, turning over in bed, and generally just bearing weight in my left leg was really painful and I started limping. I finally (at Erik's insistence) went to my doctor on Monday. I know that hip pain is not an OB problem but unfortunately when you're 9 months pregnant every doctor except your OB is scared of treating you, so that's who I went to. Since I work with my doctor we have good communication and I think he understood that I was really hurting, especially since I've had no problems at all so far. He sent me to the orthopedic doctor who saw me the same day and I was really impressed with this guy. He spent at least 20 minutes with me assessing my hip and range of motion with my left leg. I had an idea of what I thought I might have, but he blew me away with his diagnosis. I have Transient Osteoporosis of the Hip. Not at all what I was expecting, especially since I'd never heard of it before! http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=A00205 This website has some good info on it. Basically the bone density in my hip joint is severely decreased causing intense pain with weight bearing. It's uncommon and only occurs in pregnant women in their 3rd trimester and middle aged men. There's no definitive cause and the treatment is pain meds and trying to stay off the affected joint with crutches or a walker. The only positive thing about this is that it resolves within months after delivery and your bone density returns to normal.

So what does this mean for me? Well, because I work full time and I'm the only employed member of this family I have to keep working until my due date. I'm taking off for maternity leave starting on the 19th of March, which is not what I wanted to do. I wanted to work up until delivery just so I could save up my leave for when I actually have a baby at home. This shouldn't affect my delivery in any way. The ortho guy gave me crutches to use and I do use them at home but I'm too proud to use them outside my house. It's bad enough getting stared at everywhere I go because my stomach is huge, let alone being a huge preggo on crutches. I'm not going to lie, my hip hurts and walking is really painful. I can't do certain things like put my pants on standing up, pick up heavy stuff, or push a stretcher at work. The mornings are the worst and I want to cry when I wake up because I know how bad it's going to hurt to move around and get going. Once I'm going it's tolerable and when I'm sitting it doesn't hurt at all. I'm also really thankful that nothing is wrong with my baby and this doesn't affect him at all. I could have so many worse things wrong with me, I'm still a healthy pregnant person, and it will get better after I deliver. I also have the best coworkers ever who understand and help me out at work. Erik has been a huge help and picked up some of the slack at home with cleaning tasks that I just can't do. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude but sometimes it is overwhelming. I'm not used to having physical restrictions and it really makes you appreciate your health when you start having problems. It's possible that the pain might get worse before it gets better, but I'm a little over 3 weeks until my due date and I know I can keep on keeping on until then!